The most difficult promise I have ever made was to not worry and give it all to God. As humans we give a lot of credit to our own understanding. I worry almost constantly but have recently decided that it is not for me to worry, just to give it to God in prayer and know that if I work hard enough, give it my all and trust in Him, that things well be well.

Needless to say, it's almost impossible to turn off the worry switch, but I am trying and I'm learning and growing in the process. And through this God has opened many new doors and also been there to help me financially and emotionally as well as spiritually. It's weird that I never realized how close He is until I began talking to Him when I am worried or scared. It's almost as if I can hear Him whisper back, "I've got you, lean on me."

Everytime, but especially at night, when all the lights are on, and I can see my family through the window as I come to the door. It's an amazing sight, and no matter how hard a day I've had it never fails to warm my heart.

I found this poem this morning, and was so glad. It has been so long since I have read it, and it fits my life so perfectly now.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I look forward to learning from my mistakes and helping others to learn as well. I want to be wise in the things that make us honorable, and I want to grow closer to God. As I get older I think I will also enjoy having grandchildren. i know it's to soon to think like that considering my son is only eight, but I think it would be lovely.

I think that respect makes a person easy to be with. I think that if you love, honor and respect a person, everything else becomes easier. You can talk to that person, and even if you don't agree with what they say, you accept that it is their oppinion. You have the same respect coming from them when you speak.

Another good quality is found when a person thinks of another more than themselves. My husband would like nothing more than to sit in the basement and drink on Friday nights, and I generally don't mind, but sometimes I just want him to spend time with me instead, and he intuitively seems to know that, and he doesn't complain or remind me what he's giving up to be with me.

Written by: Victoria L. Spencer-Keene

 

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security…

 

Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776

 

If you will, please take a few moments to read the excerpt from the Declaration of Independence. When you have finished ask yourself one question. Are these words still true today? I was asked why Americans should help the civil rights reformers in the Middle East. I say that if these words are as true today as on the day they were written then there is no excuse why we should not help them.

 

I believe, and I know that many others agree on this point, that these words are as true today as they were when the American Colonists wrote them. If we believe that all people have been created equal then we must make strides toward giving the people in the Middle East the help and support we can in order to create a form of government that allows them the same rights we lay claim to. Freedom is not for any leader to dictate nor is it for someone well meaning to choose for another. It is not for us to force freedom upon them, but to support their cause and help them to accomplish their own goals.

 

There are people in the Middle East who are ready for the change that freedom brings. It is within out power to help them reach that goal. No more should people give their lives for speaking out. Now is the time to stand up as one with them to take freedom. Every person is different, here or there. Each person has hopes, wants, and needs that can be and should be fulfilled. If they are ready to stand and fight for their freedoms of speech, religion, and the ability to petition the government, then we should be ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with them as our forefathers stood with each other. 

 

Unfortunately there are many obstacles that must be faced before most Americans will want to help. Many are still reeling from the terrorist attacks that have occurred here in America, and also in England in the past few years. For many Americans the events of September 11, 2001 are still hauntingly close. Instead of seeing those attacks from one group of people, many place the blame on every country and group of people in the Middle East as a whole. The entire are should not be condemned because a few terrorists have taken very wrong actions.

 

Sometimes I believe that Americans have become complacent in regards to the dream of freedom. This is another reason that Americans do not want to join the fight. It is not enough for us to read the dry wording of our fight for freedom in a history book. I feel that if we truly understood the reasons our forefathers fought and died for freedom, we would not only want to help others find it, we would feel obligated to do so. It is not enough to simply know that we are free. We must remember the hardships those who came before us faced to secure those freedoms for their children.

 

The third, and possibly the biggest reason that many Americans are unwilling to help is simply a feeling. If we feel that they are not ready to fight and die for their freedoms, then we believe that they are unable to truly understand what that freedom means when they have it. I myself have used this argument in the past. That which we do not see, however, can be our greatest weakness. I ask you, how many stories of courage were never heard because a dictator covered up the truth? How many have given their lives in the current struggle for freedom? And I answer, we cannot know. The horrors of living under dictatorship are unimaginable to those who were born and raised here in America. We do not understand the evils that can be perpetrated against people with no one being aware of it. After seeing the evils of the past one hundred years, we should not only be aware, but should expect cover-ups on a grand scale. 

 

            The individual rights as they are laid down in America allow us the freedom to speak out when there is a problem, live our lives in relative peace and safety, and choose the religion that we will follow all the days of our lives. These rights are powerful, as they have allowed massive reform and change even after our government was fully established. When an individual is tried, he or she has the right for a jury made of the peers of that individual to make a decision based upon the evidence given. Each person is allowed to attend school, to demonstrate on given issues, and to effect new change within the local, state, or federal government. Our press has the right to speak about issues in government, which allows common people to have an understanding of the issues being addressed and to petition the government for change. We also have the right to bear arms to protect ourselves from personal harm.

 

            These are the human rights as they were addressed in the Amendments to the Constitution of the United States of America. These rights should be available to everyone. Each person should have the ability to speak out if they are being oppressed, to protect themselves, and to have a fair trial. No one should be denied an education, or knowledge of problems within the government of their own county. Each person should have the ability to choose their own religion or to effect change without facing death as a consequence. These should be considered the rights of the individual, and should be available to everyone, everywhere.  

I would ahve to admit that I have been most naive about love. Growing up I guess I didn't understand what my father had tried so hard to instill in me. Abuse is not love. I do not need to be beaten or raped to be loved. I am more than that. I am worth more than that.

What I want most in the world right now is another child. my husband and I have been trying for five years. It seems like it will never happen. I thank God for my son, and if I never have another child I will still be blessed through him, and also because I have been able to raise my baby brother Chris.
I just really want another baby

A mixture actually. I see a bit of myself in Piper from Charmed, and a few other television characters.

Mostly though, I see myself in my son. Not only does he look like a blonde haired male version of me (I'm auburn) but he also has my attitude and temperament, as well as being a bookworm and loving music. He plays the Violin, where I play my voice, but it is still a love of music. He is also very emotionally in tune with me. We get sad about the same things, angry about the same things, and happy about the same things. AND he has my love for CHOCOLATE!!!!! :)

I also see peices of myself in my husband. He gets so angry when someone is being hurt or abused, the same way I do, and he has a temper alot like mine, which makes for a happy, but loud home. When we argue, we are both the same. We are mad for about five minutes or as long as it takes to vent the frustration, and then it's over and never brought back up. Although, I should admit we get angry a lot more often than most of the other couples we know.

Today I want to learn what happens in the last chapter of my book

Trying tearfully
to live cheerfully.
Loving longingly,
but wanting to be free.
I want eternally
for him to be with me.
But love overrides love
like a mourning dove.
I am lost to this path,
lost in the aftermath
of a dream I tried
to make real inside.
But love overrides love
like a mourning dove.
And I am free,
tearfully

I actually remember the first time Steve and I met quite clearly. I had just gotten out of a really bad abusive relationship with my ex-husband. It had taken months, but things were starting to work out. I had been volunteering at my local DHHS in hopes of getting a job there, and on September 8th 2003 I was hired.

That night I went to visit a friend named Matt. When I dropped my son off with my sister I really didn't expect anything to come of the evening, and I had no idea that I was about to find myself in a whirlwind romance! When I got to Matt's house one of hs friends I had never met was over. He introduced himself as Steve and smiled. I liked him instantly, but said nothing.

We talked for three hours while Matt played some war game (boring) on the console. He was drinking at the time, which I was slightly worried about, but seemed very calm and happy go lucky. He put his hand on my knee, and instead of pudhing him away as I normally would have done, I let it rest there. Eventually, Steve left, and I was actually sad to see him go.

The next morning Matt called me aside and asked what I had thought of Steve. After hearing that I thought he was cute but was worried about getting into another relationship so soon, Matt and another friend Nicole took matters into their own hands. They would invite us both over in the next few weeks without telling us the other would be there. Then one day, Matt said he wanted to play with my son Tim.

Meanwhile, Nicole had told Steve to come over. When I showed up he was already there. I was talking to Nicole, who had just learned she was pregnant with her first child and was very excited, while Timmy played on the floor with his cars. Eventually, Timmy walked over to Steve and said hi, and Steve played with him for about half an hour. In that time my esteem for him grew!

It was a couple of weeks later when everything finally came together though. I was on my way to the store one day. It was only a few blocks away so Timmy and I thought we'd walk down and grab some juice. Matt saw us and asked Steve to run to the store for him. When he ran into us he picked Timmy up and carried him. Timmy was in heaven!!

When it came time for Timmy and I to leave the store, I said bye to Steve, but Timmy wouldn't have that. He let go of my hand, ran to Steve and started clinging to his leg, screaming "Mine." I swear people thought I was trying to kidnap my own son.

Steve actually carried Timmy all the way home for me to cut off the tantrum. I invited him up for coffee, and we were an item within the hour! He proposed to me in January, I accepted, and in August 2004 we were wed!